Twilight

Author: Stephanie Meyer

Remember in my last post, when I said that we were going to discuss the sexy vampire plot device, and how it has been done (both well and poorly) enough to last even the most ardent blood-sucking enthusiast a lifetime? The time, my friends, for that discussion has now arrived.
The novel, which is the first of a trilogy, tells the story of Bella, who moves to a small and rainy town to live with her semi-estranged father. She is miserable at first -- she hates the cold and the rain, she feels awkward with her father, and she alternates between irritation and intrigue with a brooding fellow student named Edward. Edward seems inexplicably hostile one moment, overly protective and solicitous the next. It emerges (and I don't feel badly telling you this, because it is revealed in the first couple of lines of the book, even if the title or the back cover blurb don't tip you off) that Edward is a vampire, and has been struggling with his desire for Bella, a desire that is both romantic and, you know, culinary (Edward, as it turns out, belongs to a group of vampires who have vowed to abstain from people-eating). Bella and Edward fall in love and begin dating, after a fair amount of No! We mustn't! But I just can't stay away from you! If you love me, then leave me alone! I'm no good for you, Baby. No sooner do they get that squared away than they run afoul of a rival group of vampires, who do not share Edward's human-free lifestyle. Hilarity ensues.
I have already said (at least twice now) that I think that the human-vampire love story is a bit over-played, giving this particular novel a bit of a handicap going in. Added to that, however, the tone of the book is ... well, it's odd. Edward and Bella spend a lot of time pining for each other. They talk a lot about how each finds the other irresistible and good-smelling and oh, so intriguing. And yet, their relationship is strangely chaste. They kiss a bit, Edward longs to bite Bella but restrains himself, Edward rescues Bella and she fall breathlessly into his arms. But no actual hanky-panky takes place. I can, with difficulty, get behind the idea that a vampire might fall in love and resist the impulse to drink blood. If that same vampire also chooses to abstain from sex until after marriage, though, it stretches the credulity. How scary can a vampire who behaves in such a fashion possible be? He's like a lightly vampire-scented, slightly broodier Clay Aiken, for God's sake! And it ruins the central theme. If Bella and Edward find each other so hauntingly attractive that they must, simply must be together in spite of all obstacles and risks, then their passion should be -- I don't know, pick a metaphor -- a tidal wave. If they can resist having sex, isn't it possible that they could apply that same iron will to being together at all? Thus sparing us all the torment of their ill-fated love?
I believe that the author intended this book to be Young Adult-friendly, and I think that this is why the plot is bizarrely puritanical in strange places. Quite simply, I think that the author pulled some punches in order to avoid advocating teenage sex, vampire sex, or actual predatory predators. If you pull punches too often, though, people stop flinching, and that is what we have here. Bah.